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Introspection is like salt. A little makes things better, and too much ruins everything.

Almost everyone over-salts their lives. Too much introspection leads to rumination, and that’s when people start to get unhappy.

Looking inward should teach you two things: what you’re good at and what you’re bad at.

Once you know both, stop. Going further tends to leave people stuck and miserable. In fact, those who go furthest often lose their sense of purpose along with their productivity.

Research consistently shows that overanalyzing choices backfires. For instance, in 1993, psychologist Timothy Wilson asked people to explain why they liked certain art posters before picking one to take home. 

The heavy explainers selected posters that didn’t align with their long-term tastes. Weeks later, the overthinkers were interviewed and reported liking their posters less and regretting their choice more than those who chose based on gut instinct. Overthinking and overexplaining their decisions made participants feel worse about their choices over time.

Yale psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema spent two decades studying rumination, the habit of dwelling on your own problems and feelings. Her work predicted when depression starts, how long it lasts, how severe it becomes, and how often it recurs. She found that more processing leads to worse outcomes.

The moral of the story: Think less about your problems.

The reliable way to feel better is to get out of your own head. 

The happiest people I know couldn’t name their attachment style even if you paid them. They’re busy with their craft, a problem they’re trying to solve, their families, or other external issues. Their attention is always pointed outward and stays there. On the flip side, many unhappy people narrate themselves all day and call it self-awareness. 

Here’s one way you can start feeling better:

1) Write down the three things each week that consistently drag you down.
2) Remove two—if not all three—from your to-do list.
3) See how you feel. If you feel better, keep them off your worry list.

People often skip this because it can feel like you’re cleaning up your schedule rather than “working on yourself.” But it can help boost your mood. Try it and tell us how it changes things for you.

How to reflect without getting stuck in your head

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