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Your mind is always playing tricks on you. When you feel pain, for example, it keeps asking, “Why me?”—as if analyzing can undo what’s happened. Some reflection on the past may be helpful, but after a certain point, you stop reflecting. Instead, you start justifying the past and you stop creating the future.

This is a trap. When you feel pain, your mind sees it as evidence that something is wrong and labels it as an emergency. 

Yet pain is just a signal, and sometimes that message doesn’t mean danger. For instance, sharp pain in your lower-right abdomen might be an indication of a ruptured appendix. Sore legs after your first set of squats in three years simply may indicate that your body is repairing itself. 

The same goes for fear. Sometimes it means a car is heading right toward you. Sometimes it means you are taking part in a challenge that is worth taking on.

“Why me?” and “moralizing your feelings” (which is judging your emotions as inherently bad or good) actually stem from the same error: treating a fact as a judgment. In your mind, “something happened” means “I’m a victim of that thing.” Or when you think “I’m afraid," it means” There’s something wrong with me.”

Both things don’t need to be true. These are just extra stories your mind makes up about the facts.

The same goes for worry. You can’t prevent worries from entering your head, but you do have control over what you choose to do with them. When you feel worry, ask yourself two things: 

What do I really have control over right now? 

What would be the most productive use of my time and effort?

Neither of these questions renders past experiences irrelevant, or makes your fear meaningless, or suggests your anxiety should be easily dismissed. 

Asking those questions lets you stop wondering whether your emotions are valid and start asking what they're trying to tell you.

Because a label takes three seconds but a real diagnosis takes months

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