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Why Actions Matter More Than Your Emotions (And How to Put This into Practice)

When it comes to wellbeing, we often hear statements like “Take the time to process your emotions” and “Sit with your feelings.” Whoever says those things is implying that emotions are limited and short-lived chemical reactions in your brain and body.

Emotions linger in our systems due to the thoughts we attach to them and our actions—or inaction—when we experience them.

Real change is not just about learning the skills to manage your emotions. It’s about not letting your actions depend on your emotions. At its core, that is the definition of emotional regulation.

Here are five tips for turning your emotions into powerful actions:

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1. Add Effort to Build Habits and Make Them Simple

Don’t rely on willpower to make better choices. Build systems where doing the right thing becomes the path of least resistance. It’s not just about locking your phone away, for example. But about figuring out how your brain makes choices and working with that process.

Work in an energy-friendly setting: People often try to get things done in spaces where their energy feels drained, such as a bedroom or at a desk facing a blank wall, then wonder why nothing gets done. Instead, do tasks that need a lot of effort, like working out or writing, in places where you feel naturally energized.

Shift your surroundings: Small changes in your physical space can help adjust how you feel. Move a few things around on your desk, switch up your lighting, or choose a new seat. The brain links places to feelings, so tiny tweaks to your environment might set off different mental patterns.

Set limits: When emotions overwhelm you, cutting down on choices can help you focus better. Stick to three tasks on your to-do list. Prepare two topics to discuss in tough conversations. Fewer options often help with making clearer decisions.

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2. EFT: Changing Your Nervous System On-the-Spot

The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) works by breaking the amygdala hijack. That is when the emotional part of your brain takes over the logical part. Tapping with two fingers on certain areas of your body can help create bilateral stimulation. It changes your brain’s state from fight-or-flight mode to a calmer rest-and-digest mode.

How to do it: If you feel overwhelmed, tap on your collarbone and say what you feel, like "I'm so mad she ignored my idea." Next, tap your temple and say what you hope for such as "I want to stay focused." Then, tap under your eye and remind yourself of what you can do, like "I can handle this talk."

Pro tip: Always use affirmations that are in the present tense, not past or future.

Why this works: You are not trying to erase the feeling, but rather shifting how you connect with it. Tapping calms your body, while using the right words helps you think more clearly.

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3. Build Action Signatures to Beat Default Emotional Habits

Don’t rely on random habits to manage your emotions. By building clear actions to respond to specific emotions, you’ll be creating your action signatures. Those go-to reactions will guide you when emotions take over.

To cope with overwhelm: Use the "one-thing rule." When everything feels urgent, pick one task and finish it before tackling anything else. It will interrupt the freeze that overwhelm tends to cause.

To channel anger: Don’t bottle up your anger, and instead try the "energy redirect" to put your emotion to good use instead. Use it to tackle hard talks, hit the gym with intensity, or get to the to-do list you’ve been putting off. On Sol TV, check out Mathura Mahendran’s healthy ways to express rage.

To manage anxiety: When you’re stressing out, use an "action anchor." This is a physical activity that uses coordination, like juggling, playing an instrument, or doing a puzzle. (Sol TV Creator Brandon McCullen has described how organizing or cleaning when you’re anxious can make anxiety vanish by shifting focus from the emotional narrative.) It helps your brain focus on the now rather than worrying about what-ifs.

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4. The Identity-Action Feedback Loop: You Become What You Do

Your brain sees no difference between your identity and the way you act, and that creates a strong cycle: If you behave like a confident person, your brain will begin to believe that you are confident. It's important to realize identity shifts come from actions, not just hopeful thoughts.

Try doing the opposite: When you want to avoid something, choose to face it. When you feel like disappearing, make yourself seen. Your brain really figures out who you are based on what you do when you’re faced with something you don’t feel like doing.

Log proof of progress: Write down any small actions that reveal the person you’re trying to be. Your brain needs visible proof to reshape how it sees you, so make the evidence something you can happily look back on.

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5. Beat Action Stalemates with Partial Decisions

When you’re overthinking, your mind gets frozen in place as it spins through every possible scenario. The way out isn’t to think more—it’s to start doing with what you know and adjust as things unfold.

Embrace the 40% rule: If you’re obsessing over a decision you need to make and you’re about 40% confident in the direction you want to take, make your move. Waiting until you’re sure might just be an excuse to delay. Most choices can be undone, and taking action often helps you learn more than just sitting around analyzing.

Accept strategic messiness: When you’re starting a project, don’t be afraid to take chances or make mistakes in the beginning of your work. The point isn’t to get it perfect, it’s simply to get moving. A sloppy start always beats a flawless plan that stays on paper.

Use time pressure to focus: Give yourself very short deadlines to make decisions. When time feels tight, your mind stops spinning in circles and focuses on what’s important instead of distractions that keep you stuck.

By consistently acting in spite of your emotions, you’ll build resilience and shape a stronger sense of self. Start small, stay intentional, and watch your actions transform who you are.

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