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We’ve all dealt with this scenario: Your mind latches onto something—a sarcastic remark a coworker said about you, an embarrassing slip-up you had at a party, or constant worries about what someone thinks of you—and those thoughts just won’t quit. It feels like your brain is caught in an endless loop running the same scene, ruining your sleep or even creeping into your dreams. There’s a word for this: rumination— and it’s a trap everyone falls into now and again.

Why Do We Ruminate?

Rumination doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It shows you’re human. We tend to dwell a lot when something that hurts us. It could be rejection, a failure, or a dream you can’t let go. Our brains tell us, If I review this again, I’ll solve it. The truth is, revisiting that thought doesn’t help you find answers. It just pulls you further into worry.

Our minds also tend to rattle when we just can’t accept people and situations as they are. That’s often what keeps people up at night, and even if some of us get sleep somehow, the worry, the anger, or the unresolved feelings can find ways to say “hello” to us in our dreams.

For some people, moving on from painful experiences feels even harder. If you’re a perfectionist, you might obsess over every little thing, trying to fix it in your mind. And if you’re someone with low self-esteem, you may spiral and blame yourself for something that happened.

It’s a Habit, Not Who You Are

Let’s get one thing straight: No one is a “natural-born ruminator.” Ruminating is a habit, like reaching for your phone as soon as you wake up. When you let your brain replay the same thought over and over, you’re training it to follow that loop. The upside? Habits can change. The first step is recognizing it as a behavior, not some unchangeable truth about who you are.

Steps to Break the Cycle

Stopping rumination isn’t as simple as saying, “Just stop thinking.” That’s like asking someone to stop breathing; it won’t happen. Instead of using sheer willpower, you need the right tools. Try these to push that endless mental replay aside:

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Step Into the Present

Overthinking thrives when your mind has nothing to do. The solution is to pay attention to what's happening right now. Just look around and notice things. Feel your shirt, hear the buzz of the fridge, or take in the smell of coffee in your cup. Use your senses to ground yourself. It helps reset that mental autopilot. A quick body scan can make a difference too. Close your eyes and focus on your toes then move upward to your legs and so on. It’s straightforward and effective. If it feels tricky, try a guided body scan online to get started.

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Recognize What Sets You Off

Your body gives you a heads-up before your mind realizes you're stuck overthinking. Are you pacing back and forth? Tapping your foot? Feeling some pressure in your chest? These are clues. Write them down to recognize them later. It’s like noticing a cold —you can’t deal with it if you don’t know it’s coming.

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Make a Backup Plan

Instead of thinking too much, take action when you notice your mind spiraling. Create an if/then plan to react. For example, if I start stressing about that meeting, then I’ll turn on my favorite song and dance like no one can see me. You could also take a walk, call someone, or clean the kitchen sink. Choose something that distracts your mind and shifts your focus. Write it down and stick it somewhere visible like your fridge. It will act as your go-to escape route.

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Acknowledge the Thought

When you feel stuck try asking yourself: Is this really as important as it seems? Or maybe: Can just thinking about this make a difference? Hint: It won’t. If you’re replaying what someone said, remind yourself that their opinion doesn’t define your reality. This isn’t about ignoring tough stuff—it’s about recognizing that a thought is a thought, not the ultimate truth.

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Keep Things in Perspective

Here’s a tough reality: You don’t know how much longer you’ll be alive. If you only had a year left, would you lose sleep over that argument you had or that mistake you can’t undo? Of course not. Use that thought to shake yourself out of the cycle. Life is way too valuable to get lost in tiny worries.

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Be Gentle with Yourself

Don’t tear yourself down for overthinking—it’s like scolding yourself for stumbling. Instead, remind yourself: I feel stuck, and that’s alright. I’m working through it. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a close friend. You’re not messing up; you’re just learning.

You Can Handle This

Dwelling on thoughts deceives us with the prospect of solutions–but it fuels anxiety instead. You don’t have to stay stuck in that cycle. Notice when you’re ruminating, and show yourself kindness to regain composure. Also try to see what set off the over-thinking in the first place. You don’t have to figure out all of the right answers. Just start. Your mind belongs to you, and you’re tougher than you realize.

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