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When did being alone with our thoughts become so terrifying that some people would prefer an electric shock over solitude?

That’s not an exaggeration—it's from an actual study that showed people would rather endure electric shocks than sit alone with their thoughts for just 15 minutes. We've created a world where solitude feels like punishment and quiet moments immediately get filled with scrolling through social media, listening to podcasts, or rushing to the next task.

When you're surrounded by people, it's hard to notice your own flaws. In solitude, you face a mirror without filters—and that can be hard for a lot of us. The challenge isn't finding time for solitude—it's whether you can embrace it when it arrives.

The first step to being comfortable when you’re alone is ditching the false image of solitude we carry around. Many of us picture it as something that happens on vacation, like in a cabin in the woods where you’re struck with some magical insight. 

But solitude isn't escaping to the forest. It's finding those small moments in the cracks of our everyday life where we let our minds run free.

Most of the time, our behavior works in a fixed pattern: You face a problem, you find the solution. Thanks to our productivity-obsessed culture, that two-step process has become our default setting. But in solitude, you can shift from algorithmic thinking to just being—observing your mind and thoughts without deliberately thinking about anything or switching into fix-it mode.

Try this: Next time you're waiting for an appointment, your coffee to brew, the elevator, you name it, resist the urge to grab your phone. Don't try to solve anything or be productive. Just let your mind wander wherever it wants to go. Notice what thoughts come up when you're not feeding your brain with external stimuli.

Optimize transition moments: Make the most of the few minutes before you get out of bed, the walk from your car to the office, or the time between finishing one task and starting another. Instead of immediately filling those spaces with external stimuli, let them be empty. See what your mind does when it's not being directed.

After some of those empty-mind moments, something natural will happen. Your thoughts will drift to things that actually matter, like the situations where you feel stuck. And for once, instead of immediately trying to solve those problems, you can just assess them and think.

Research shows U.S. adults spend nearly four hours a day on their smartphones. We're not just addicted to our devices, we're also running from ourselves. We believe scrolling is better than being alone with our thoughts—and honestly, we might be right. Most of us have never learned how to be with ourselves without it feeling unpleasant.

We’re missing two key facts: The discomfort is temporary, while the benefits are plenty.

Getting comfortable with your thoughts probably won’t happen immediately, and that’s OK. Your goal is just to become curious about them. When you notice your mind spinning about something, instead of reaching for distraction, try asking: "What is this really about?"

When you practice that thinking exercise regularly, something will shift. You’ll start noticing thoughts and patterns you've been drowning out with constant input. Yes, some will be uncomfortable—that's 100% normal. But you’ll also start assessing your own creativity, problem-solving abilities, and intuition that get buried under all the external noise.

You’ll realize that being alone doesn't have to feel like punishment—and that person you've been avoiding (you!) might actually have something interesting to say.

We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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