💡 Your Strength Has a Shadow
🌠 Sol Bites: 5 Steps to Find Your Shadow
🦉 Words of Wisdom
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You’ve probably heard the saying that our strengths are sometimes our greatest weaknesses. Maybe, you’ve been applauded by so many people for your strengths that you’ve never spent time thinking about how those strengths can have related blind spots.
A kid that insists they don’t have a temper and then slams his door isn’t lying. He just can’t see what everyone else in the room sees.
The trouble with blind spots is you can’t find them through introspection. It’s why people hire therapists and coaches. Seeing someone else’s blind spot is easy. But seeing your own requires something called shadow mapping.
Sol Bites: 5 Steps to Find Your Shadow
List your strengths. Jot down three words that you’d use to describe your strengths, such as curious, disciplined, funny, or observant. If you’re stuck, text someone who knows you well and ask them for words.
Pick one of the words and write down how it helps you. If your strength is “hardworking,” it could mean you might attract people who want to work with you, you’re reliable, or you’re a fun co-worker.
Write the side effects. Keep thinking of the strength, and write down any downsides that you experience because of it. For example, “Hardworking makes me impatient with people who don’t also work hard, and that transforms into judgement.”
Name what the strength lets you dodge. Next write down what your strength keeps you from seeing in yourself. Being very good at one thing is an excellent way to never test your shadow.
Name the thing that scares you. Go even deeper, and try to identify whether there’s a talent or big want that you’ve kept it quiet. (My personal one: Being disciplined about writing a weekly newsletter is a good way to avoid writing a book.)
Work through each of the strengths on your list one at a time. Expect to do two or three passes for each one before your work feels finished.
Plus, why knowing your blind spot isn’t enough to stop it
Words of Wisdom
The brighter the light, the blacker the shadow.
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Along the Same Lines…
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