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💡 A New Way to See Your Emotions

🌠 3 Ways to Make Bad Moments Shrink and Good Ones Last Longer

🦉 Words of Wisdom

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A New Way to See Your Emotions

Emotions, for most people, are just like letters in the mail. Some of them are terrifying, such as letters from the IRS. Others are junk mail. Every now and then, a holiday card arrives from an old friend. But the mail is always coming in, and all you can do is open it.

This analogy is partly right.

But a better analogy is a teacher in a classroom. The feelings are the children.

A teacher who steps into class on the first day finds herself confronted with 24 children whom she did not select. There is one who throws temper tantrums. There is another who makes faces about everything. Then there is the child who gives hugs freely. But by June, the classroom might look very different from what it was in September.

Your anxiety is the child who always wants to know what would happen “but what if,” and he might become increasingly demanding of answers to those questions. Your envy is the one who rats out everyone else’s success.

So what are some of the things, a good teacher does to mold her students? Three main things.

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She names the child before she does anything about him. When there is a surge of emotion within your chest, name it, either to yourself or on paper: “That is anger,” “That is fear.” To name an emotion creates a time interval between the feeling and the action, and that is where your power lies.

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Second, the teacher determines what deserves her focus. Rumination is the child who never shuts up, and every response you provide him with is like feeding him more fuel. Give your worries a limited time, ten minutes, and write them down in a notebook; then put it away. Give gratitude and curiosity more time than they demand.

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Third, she stays engaged. One act of calm will not transform a child who throws a tantrum, nor will one deep breath change your temper. What will transform both is consistency and repetition of your reaction. That is when the classroom takes shape.

3 Ways to Make Bad Moments Shrink and Good Ones Last Longer

Fun fact: you give better advice to your friends than to yourself

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Words of Wisdom

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Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.

― Fred Rogers, American children’s TV host

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