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It's officially 2026, and right now, your Whatsapp and Messages apps are probably filled with recent sweet messages from friends and family about New Year.

They probably all have a similar sentiment—something like, "Wishing you an abundance of happiness!" or "Hope 2026 brings you nothing but joy!" or just a simple "Happy New Year!"

The idea that connects them all together? Happiness. At the end of the day, that’s what most of us want.

There are more than 17,761 studies and research papers about happiness. Most of them focus on how to achieve it, where to find it, and the exact formula for it.

You might have heard of Harvard’s 85-year study that shows the quality of our relationships determine our happiness.

Each person’s sense of belongingness in the world has a direct impact on their happiness.

On the flip side, one thing that causes people to feel depressed is constantly thinking, “What about me?” The antidote to depression is thinking, “What can I do for someone else?”

You’ve probably already seen a lot of journaling prompts for the new year, so rather than give you more, we’re offering up something different: Look at these two common situations that cause most of us to torture ourselves, and try to flip the script.

1. When Others Watch But Don't Reply

I’m sure you’ve experienced this scenario before: You send a text to your best friend or someone you’re dating. After more than five hours, they haven’t replied.

But then . . . you see the bubble that shows they’re typing. Or you see that they’ve watched your Stories.

Have you noticed what your mind is doing at the moment? How anxious it gets? Your brain takes it all personally and spirals into immediate negative thoughts: “Do they not like me? Are they ignoring me on purpose?”

This is the “What about me?” trap happening in real time. You make their silence about your worth, feed so much negativity to your mind, and become miserable.

We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions (“I didn't reply because I was overwhelmed”) but we judge our friends by their actions (“They didn't reply because they don't care about me.”) This can make you a hypocrite—and it’s time to catch that behavior.

Think of the last person you left on read—the person whose message has been sitting in your inbox for three days without a reply.

Do you hate them? Are you ignoring them? Maybe. But in most cases, you're probably just tired, or you opened the message while commuting and forgot about it, or you don't have the emotional battery to have a conversation right now.

Realize that the person who hasn’t written you back is likely in that exact same headspace. They aren't rejecting you; they are just surviving their own day, exactly like you are. The moment you offer them the same grace you give yourself, the misery vanishes.

2. The “Why Not Me?” Scroll

This goes way beyond Instagram highlights. Maybe you’re watching a YouTube vlog of someone your age buying a new villa. Or you’re watching your favorite show and the main character is wearing a designer brand you’ve wanted for years. Worse, you open LinkedIn and see a former colleague announcing they’ve landed a job at your dream company, or you see someone posting an article about their business making millions.

Instantly, your mind is filled with thoughts like, “I’m working just as hard, so why am I still struggling? What is wrong with me? Am I falling behind? Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

You feel a physical shift in energy in your body. It’s not jealousy; it’s grief for the life you feel you should have by now but don't.

The misery you’re experiencing comes from cherry-picking. You look at one shiny object in someone else’s life (the money, the job, the dress) and assume everything in their world is perfect, but at the same time, you hyper-focus on the messy parts of your own life.

This is like comparing your own behind-the-scenes footage (featuring your anxiety, debt, family stress, and insecurities) with someone else’s polished marketing campaign.

Ask yourself this brutal question: “Would I trade my entire life for theirs? Not just the salary or the dress—but would I take their 80-hour work weeks? Would I take their health issues? Would I take their private loneliness or the credit card debt they might be hiding?”

We often envy the trophy without knowing the cost of admission. When you realize you don't actually know the price someone paid (or are currently paying) for their success, your envy will turn into indifference. You’ll stop wishing you were them and remember you’re only willing to be you.

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