☀️ Sol Bites: Mindset Shift from Fixed to Evolving
🎨 Don’t Be a Finished Version of Yourself
🎥 Video Bite: Melissa Impett on Self-Compassion
✨ Words of Wisdom
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A lot of stress in life comes from the assumption that everyone is supposed to be a certain kind of person.
We ask ourselves questions like:
Who am I, really?
Am I falling behind?
Why don’t I feel more accomplished by now?
Those questions make sense if you think of yourself as a fixed object and the final version of the individual you’re supposed to find, build, or become.
But what if that whole notion is completely off base?
What if you’re not an object that has a shelf life with a “complete by” date, but something in a constantly changing state?
What if you’re not a noun. You’re a verb.
That shift in thinking alone can take a surprising amount of pressure off of you. Here’s how to change your mindset now.
Sol Bites: Mindset Shift From Fixed to Evolving
Step 1: Notice How Often You Treat Yourself Like an Object
Listen to the way so many of us usually talk about ourselves:
“I need to figure out who I am.”
“I should be more confident by now.”
“I used to be happier. What happened to me?”
All of that assumes there is a static “you” that should stay consistent over time.
But in real life, you are constantly changing. Your mood, your energy, your interests, your priorities—even the way you see yourself shift from year to year, sometimes from hour to hour.
Trying to lock all of that change into a single identity is like choosing one season and calling it the whole year.
The truth is much simpler: You are what is happening right now, shaped by what just happened, and already changing into what comes next.
Step 2: Think of Yourself the Way You Think of Other Living Things
We don’t expect a tree to be the same every season.
We don’t get annoyed when a river changes its course.
We don’t accuse the stars of being inconsistent.
We accept that living systems shift, respond, and adapt.
But when we change, we often call it confusion, failure, or lack of direction.
What if we extended the generosity that we give to nature to ourselves?
You are not meant to be a finished product. You are meant to be responsive to your life.
Your growth is not linear. It’s more like the weather.
And that’s not a flaw. That’s how living works.
Step 3: Let Go of the Idea That You Must “Find” Yourself
A lot of people feel pressure to discover their true self, as if it’s hiding somewhere and must be uncovered.
But if you are a process, not an object, then there is no single version of you waiting to be found.
There is only the version that is forming right now, based on:
What you’re paying attention to
What you’re practicing
What you’re recovering from
What you care about today
This doesn’t mean you are unstable. Your values, your temperament, and your ways of connecting with people may be consistent.
But even those are patterns in motion, not fixed traits carved in stone.
You don’t need to locate yourself.
You are already occurring.
Step 4: Stop Trying to Define Yourself
When you’re busy trying to decide who you are, it’s easy to miss what’s happening.
Am I doing enough?
Am I on the right path?
Is this the real me or just a phase?
Seeing yourself as a process shifts the focus from definition to experience.
Instead of asking, “What kind of person am I?”, you might ask, “What is happening inside of me right now?”
Am I tired?
Curious?
Overstimulated?
Moved by something?
These are not labels. They are moment-to-moment realities. And they are much more useful for guiding your next small choice.
Presence becomes less about forcing your mind to be quiet and more about being willing to notice what is already here.
Don’t Be a Finished Version of Yourself
You are not behind.
You are not failing to arrive at some final form.
You are not supposed to feel the same way forever.
You are an unfolding process, shaped by time, relationships, losses, insights, habits, and chance.
Seeing yourself this way doesn’t make life less meaningful. It often makes it feel more alive.
Because instead of carrying the weight of having to be someone, you can focus on the simpler, more honest task of responding to what’s in front of you right now.
Don’t be a noun. Continue to be a verb.
The compassion we give away but never keep for ourselves.
Video Bite
Sol TV Creator Melissa Impett shares how self-compassion changed her life.
Words of Wisdom
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
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