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How Keep Anxiety from Running Your Life—and Make it Your Friend Instead

How Keep Anxiety from Running Your Life—and Make it Your Friend Instead

Anxiety can be your growth buddy, not a dictator. Here’s how to work with it.

Sol TV
May 13, 2025

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What is your current relationship with anxious feelings? Are you riding the wave of a challenge or drowning under pressure? The difference matters more than you think. Anxiety comes in two flavors, and you've probably tasted them both: one fuels your growth and the other can break you. The difference matters more than you think.

When Anxiety Works For You (Not Against You)

You know the feeling when a deadline makes you focus like a laser? Or when the flutter of excitement and nervousness before a big presentation actually helps you nail it? That's good anxiety. It’s your brain saying, "You've got this." It’s the kind of anxiety that doesn't leave you feeling drained—it leaves you feeling accomplished. Some people even seek out those types of "good nerves" situations because they help you grow.

You may have noticed that when you avoid discomfort and stick with what's easy and familiar without any pressure, nothing ever changes. But with just the right amount of good pressure, you learn, adapt, and become more capable.

Do you remember when the right amount of pressure helped you outperform your expectations? Maybe you nailed a project or rose to an occasion you didn't think you could handle? Reply to this email and share it with us!

When Anxiety Starts to Break You

There's a very fine line, however, between pressure that motivates and the pressure that feels like surfing over a tsunami. Sometimes you cross that line without even realizing it.

Imagine this: You're planning your dream wedding. The to-do lists and decisions create a positive kind of busy energy, but you're also juggling full-time work and classes. Then, an unexpected expense—like a traffic ticket—throws you off. And just when you think you've got it under control, your partner breaks their leg in an accident. Suddenly, what felt like positive, manageable anxiety becomes a crushing weight.

When stressors stack up, even the good kind of anxiety can morph into something destructive. And these types of tipping points are all too common.

When life piles on too many challenges at once, some people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms just to get through the day. They might turn to alcohol or seek comfort through food. Some people even end up with physical symptoms so severe—like chest pain, dizziness, or chronic headaches—that they think they're having serious health problems.

Bad anxiety interferes with your life rather than enhancing it. It’s not motivating, it’s paralyzing. Instead of helping you improve, it prevents you from functioning.

Reclaiming Growth Without the Overwhelm

So how can you step back from that breaking point—or even dodge it completely? The goal isn't to remove all anxiety from your life. The key is to choose challenges that push you just enough without overwhelming you. It’s not about pursuing high-stakes, high-pressure situations, but looking for planned opportunities to grow that keep you in that ideal zone of positive pressure.

The Joy of Small Adventures

You may have seen people on social media having epic adventures—bungee jumping, traveling to exotic locations, making radical life changes—and thought that's what growth looks like. But we've been sold the idea that only big, dramatic experiences count as meaningful challenges—and that’s something worth questioning.

Little, everyday challenges often result in the most significant personal development. Perhaps it's trying out a tricky recipe, voicing your opinion in a meeting when you'd rather keep mum, or tackling that tough conversation you've been putting off.

Those "small adventures" might not make for impressive Instagram posts, but they create enough pressure to help you grow without overwhelming you. Plus, celebrating your little victories contributes more to your emotional well-being than occasionally getting a thrill from an adrenaline rush.

When Anxiety Becomes Invisible

Embracing small adventures allows you to harness anxiety as a tool for growth, but what happens when the feeling sneaks into your life without you even noticing? Too often, people get so caught up in daily pressures that they stop questioning whether constant overwhelm is normal or healthy. This shift from intentional challenge to unexamined overwhelm is where anxiety stops being a choice and starts running the show.

Finding Your Way Forward

How do you navigate this tricky terrain? How do you welcome pressure that helps you grow while protecting yourself from the anxious feelings that break you down?

Try these tips:

When you feel anxious, stop for a second and recognize whether it’s excitement-anxiety (usually good) and dread-anxiety (usually bad).
Build in regular downtime after periods of challenge to recover from stress, prevent burnout, and build resilience for future challenges.
Embrace small, daily adventures instead of always seeking massive challenges.
Check in with your body regularly—tension, sleep problems, and digestive issues can be symptoms of everyday pressure.

Starting a healthier relationship with anxiety is never too late. Even if your emotional health isn't at its best, you can begin working on it today. Your future self will thank you for the effort you put in now.

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