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How much of your exhaustion is a result of trying to change things that aren't yours to change?

Be honest. Have you been spending time thinking about that person who won't text back? The recruiter that ghosted you? Your [insert adjective of choice here] family? The economy? The past?

We've all been told that having agency—in other words, control of your life—is the answer to everything. Hustle harder. Manifest more. Plan better. But here's what nobody mentions: There's a difference between high agency and high control. One builds a life, while the other burns you out chasing things you were never meant to catch.

The Inner-most Circle: Total Control

This is the territory for everything that is 100% yours to control.

The circle is smaller than you think, but it's also more powerful than you think.

The Outer-most Circle: Zero Control

This is everyone else's territory. It’s home to the stuff that's 0% yours, no matter how badly you want it to be.

This circle is bigger than you want to admit—and fighting it is exhausting.

The Middle Circle: Influence

This is where healthy agency actually lives. And honestly, it’s where life gets interesting.

In this area, you can see things that you can influence. Rather than fighting for impossible outcomes, you’re able to make the odds of something happening better for yourself. For example, it’s impossible to make someone love you, but it’s possible to show up as someone who is worth loving. Similarly, you can't control if you get promoted, but you can do work that's hard to ignore.

Having healthy agency doesn't just make you more effective. It makes you less anxious.

When you're clear about what's yours to control and what isn't, you stop carrying weight that was never yours to carry. 

Thinking you have 0% control leads to a victim mindset. Life happens to you. You wait. You complain. You feel stuck.

Thinking you have 100% control is also a recipe for disaster, making you an anxious achiever. 

Healthy agency is the sweet spot. You work with what life gives you. You respond. You adapt. You build.

You can't control the waves. But you can learn to surf.

Focus on your inner circle. Accept your outer circle. And play with your influence power card.

That's how you build the kind of agency that doesn't just get things done. It keeps you sane while you're doing them.

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Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️

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