🔎 TL/DR
🍎 Sol Bites: How to Overcome Rumination
🦉 Words of Wisdom
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Picture yourself scrolling through your phone at 2 a.m., replaying an awkward thing you said in a meeting last week, or obsessing over a friend’s hurtful comment from months ago. Was that easy to imagine? If so, you’re already familiar with rumination, your brain’s annoying habit of looping over past mistakes, regrets, or grudges like a social algorithm stuck on repeat.
If your life is filled with social media comparisons, hustle culture, or existential dread, rumination can feel like an extra weight in your mental backpack. It’s not just an annoyance, either—rumination is also linked to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and, of course, sleep issues.
But here’s the thing: You don’t have to ruminate for the rest of your life.
With some practical strategies, you can hit stop on those mental replays and focus on living in the present.
TL;DR
Rumination is overthinking about past mistakes, grudges, or losses, and it keeps you stuck and stressed. It’s a habit, not your destiny.
To break free, learn to spot the difference between productive reflection and pointless rumination; understand why you’re obsessing (control, certainty, or ego boosts); and try strategies to snap out of it, such as scheduled sadness, rethinking anger, embracing helplessness, forgiving without forgetting, and using the 3Ms (Move, Make, Meet).
Sol Bites: 10 Ways to Overcome Rumination
Ready to kick rumination out of your life? Here are 10 ways to help break the cycle:
1) Know the Difference Between Reflection and Rumination
Reflection is what athletes do, for example, when they analyze post-game videos to level up their game. It’s productive and purposeful. Rumination would be rewatching the same cringe moment over and over with no plan for takeaways. If you’re obsessing over something from the past, ask yourself: Is this helping me grow, or am I just stuck? If you’re spiraling over from being fired from a job last year without new insights, it’s rumination. Catch yourself early by noticing when your thoughts feel automatic or pointless.
2) Figure Out What Rumination is Doing for You
Rumination serves a sneaky purpose. Maybe it makes you feel in control when life feels chaotic, or it gives you a quick ego boost by shading someone else’s flaws. When you’re stuck in a mental loop, ask yourself: What am I getting out of this? Once you know the “why” (control, certainty, or just avoiding boredom), you can find healthier ways to meet that need, like journaling for clarity or hyping yourself up without dragging others.
3) Schedule Time to Feel Sad
If you’re stuck on a loss—such as a breakup, a job flop, or a situationship ghosting —rumination might be your brain dodging the real pain: sadness. Try setting aside 10–15 minutes a day to feel that emotion (or any others driving your behavior) on purpose. Cry to a sad playlist, write about your feelings, or just sit with them. This strategy is like exposure therapy for your emotions—facing them head-on reduces their grip, so you ruminate less.
4) Rethink Your Anger
Ever catch yourself stewing over a shady coworker or your ex’s petty comments? Angry rumination feels good because it pumps up your ego—like, I’m right, they’re trash. But it’s a trap that fuels stress and drama. Next time you’re raging, ask yourself: Why am I hyping this anger? Channel that energy into something productive, like a workout or brunch with your besties.Your goal is to boost your mood without the toxic spiral.
5) Get Okay with Feeling Helpless
Rumination often kicks in when you feel powerless, like when you’re staring at an unanswered DM or you’ve received negative feedback. Instead of overthinking the situation to feel in control, practice sitting with your helplessness. Start with this small exercise: Next time you’re stuck in a mental loop, take a deep breath and say, “I can’t change this, and that’s okay.” It’s like building a tolerance for spicy food—uncomfortable at first, but you’ll handle it better over time and free up energy for what you can control.
6) Forgive, Don’t Forget
Holding grudges keeps you tethered to the past. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re cool with what happened or erasing the memory—it’s about choosing to stop letting it rent space in your head. If you’re ruminating on someone who wronged you, try writing a letter to that person (don’t send it) to process the hurt and decide to let it go. It's not a one-tap fix, but it’s a step toward mental freedom.
7) Face the Real Cost of Rumination
Rumination isn’t just a time-suck, it's also stealing your peace. It can lead to stress, insomnia, anxiety, or even depression, plus, it robs you of time for your goals, like starting a side hustle or planning a dream vacay. Make a list of what rumination is costing you, such as missed hangouts with friends, the ability to focus at work, or energy for your gym grind. Seeing the toll in black-and-white can motivate you to ditch the habit.
8) Get Clear on Your Values
Rumination is like doom scrolling the past—it keeps you from living in the now. To break free, get clear on what lights you up. Try writing a bucket list, including items such as dream trips, career goals, and even small wins, like mastering a new recipe. Think beyond vision-board vibes—this should be a roadmap that will pull your focus toward what matters. Organize your goals and keep them front and center.
9) Level Up Your Assertiveness
Rumination can be procrastination in disguise, since you’re overthinking instead of tackling real-life problems. Practice assertiveness to face issues head-on. Start small: Ask for a raise even if you’re nervous, or set a boundary with a friend who’s always late. It’s like flexing a muscle—the more you practice, the easier it gets to address IRL challenges instead of stewing in your head.
10) Use the 3Ms to Snap Out of It
Need a quick escape from a rumination spiral? Try the 3Ms:
Move: Blast your favorite music and dance, go for a walk, or do a quick yoga flow. Getting your body moving pulls you out of your head.
Make: Create something—bake cookies, doodle, or reorganize your desk. Productivity is a mood-lifter.
Meet: Text a friend, call your mom, or even scroll through old pics with your crew. Connection reminds you that you’re not alone. The meetings can act as mental reset buttons when you’re stuck.
Rumination might feel like your brain’s default setting, but it’s a habit you can kick. Breaking free means recognizing when you’re stuck in a mental loop, understanding why it’s happening, and taking small, intentional steps to shift your focus.
So, next time you catch yourself spiraling, try one of the strategies above and watch how much lighter your mental load feels. You’re not your thoughts—you can be the boss of them.
Your mind is not your friend when it comes to ruminating.
Words of Wisdom
Put your thoughts to sleep. Do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart. Let go of thinking.
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