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Every September, as the leaves start to turn and my kids head back to school, I tackle the ritual of cleaning out our closets. It’s more than just tidying—it’s a moment of truth. After years in the fashion industry and raising two teens who’ve inherited my love for clothes, I’m embracing a minimalist lifestyle. But every year, as I face piles of sweaters, shoes, and forgotten impulse buys, the same questions hit me: How did we get here? Why do we have so much stuff? 

The answer isn’t just about consuming—it’s deeper, a spiritual disconnect driven by unexamined desires, outside pressure, and perhaps a shaky sense of who I really am.

Standing in my closet, sorting clothes into donation bags, I see the cost of my past choices. Each item—those boots I bought because they were trending, that dress I wore once to feel “cool”—represents hours of work. Those moments of my life have been turned into clutter.

Philosopher René Girard had a name for what drives that type of behavior: mimetic desire. It’s the act of wanting something because others have it (or perhaps because it’s all over social media), or because it promises to make you someone. I bought into the idea that the right outfit could signal status, sophistication, or belonging. My kids, now navigating their own social worlds, aren’t immune either—they see TikTok hauls and think they need the latest sneakers to fit in.

Instead, the cycle of wanting leaves us feeling emptier, hungrier, and chasing things that don’t fill our void.

Money isn’t just currency—it’s a mirror of what we value. In ancient Rome, coins were minted in the temple of Juno Moneta, a place of both wealth and worship. That connection still resonates: What we spend our money on reflects what we hold sacred.

Staring at my overstuffed closet, I see the cost of that worship: time spent working for things I didn’t need, and energy drained chasing trends that faded faster than cheap dye. It’s otherwise known as the “post-purchase haze”—that sinking feeling when you realize the thing you bought doesn’t deliver the things you hoped it would.

I’ve felt this disconnect most acutely when I’ve bought something to impress others, only to realize it doesn’t reflect me. It’s like losing a piece of yourself to the promise of a trend. The problem isn’t the stuff itself—clothes can be beautiful, functional, even artful. The problem is when unchecked desires, fueled by ads and influencers, pull us away from who we are.

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So, how do I stop this behavior? How do I move toward minimalism when my past is littered with shopping bags, and my kids are growing up in a world that screams “buy more”? The answer lies in anchoring myself to something stronger than fleeting wants: my values. I’ve tried the Marie Kondo approach—asking if things “spark joy”—but it can feel too vague, especially when you’re knee-deep in a closet and everything you see feels like it might matter someday.

Instead, I’ve developed a practice I call the “Legacy Test.” It’s focused less on fleeting emotions and more on lasting meaning.

Here’s how it works:

As I haul another bag of clothes to the donation bin, I’m reminded that overconsumption isn’t about a lack of willpower—it’s about a lack of clarity. 

For me, the Legacy Test helps me cut through the noise of trends and reels, focusing on what I want to leave behind, both in my closet and in my life. It’s not about rejecting beautiful things but about choosing them with intention, so they reflect the person I’m becoming, not the people I’m trying to impress. In a world that’s always trying to pull us toward more, there’s power in knowing what you stand for—and letting everything else go.

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