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Sometimes we overcomplicate friendship-building. Many of us want to connect, but then we wait for the ideal words, best timing, or perfect vibes.
Maybe the process should be simpler. The feeling of “I like having you around” should be enough to motivate you.
We often don't hit "send" on a message because we’re too concerned with making it just right. But perfection is the enemy of connection.
Below are five messages I’ve sent to friends. Use them when you want to turn an acquaintance into a friend (or keep a good one close).
1. The "I’m Claiming You" Text
When to use this: You’ve met someone, decided they belong in your life, and you don’t want to wait for months to see each other again.
"Hey, I’ve quietly decided we’re friends now. Want to walk on Saturday at 11? I’ll bring iced coffee, you bring whatever you want to talk about."
Why it works: By playfully "deciding" the friendship is happening, you remove the awkward question mark of whether it's going to happen. You aren’t asking for permission to exist in their life; you’re offering them a role in yours
Tiny note: Copy → paste → watch their excitement that you made the first move.

2. The Rent-Free Rental
When to use this: You want to maintain a bond, but you don’t have the energy or time for a full conversation.
"Just saw someone wearing a [insert clothing item here] as you and smiled."
Why it works: Specificity + Sweetness is the language of love. A generic "I’m thinking of you" feels empty. Noticing a specific detail that reminds you of someone proves they actually live rent-free in your head (in the best way) and it lights them up.
Tiny Note: Works best with a pic attached.

3. The Zero-Pressure Revival
When to use this: It’s great when a friend has slipped away and you want them back without an awkward "We never talk anymore."
"Zero pressure, but I miss your face. If you ever want to do something, say the word."
Why it works: "Zero pressure" is the magic phrase. It opens the door without demanding they walk through it immediately. "If you ever want to do something dumb or fun, say the word" signals that you aren’t looking for a heavy emotional processing session, you just want them back in your life.
Tiny Note: This is the antidote to the "I'm a bad friend" guilt spiral.

4. The No-Obligation Gift
When to use this: You want to touch base, but you know the other person is busy or overwhelmed and might not reply.
"[Send Meme / Song / TikTok]. No need to reply. Just had to share this because it’s so perfect for you."
Why it works: It creates a quick connection without any sense of obligation. The "no need to reply" clause is the greatest gift you can give. It says: I am thinking of you, but I am not expecting much in return.
Tiny Note: Use this liberally. People save these.

5. The "Convener"
When to use it: When the group chat has been saying "We need to plan something" for six months and no one is doing anything about it.
"Potato chips + my couch + that documentary we keep talking about. Friday 7:30. I’m not taking no for an answer (but you can bring better snacks if you don’t like the idea of mine)."
Why it works: The best gift you can give overworked friends is a decision they don’t have to make. This text kills the "I don't know, what do you want to do?" loop. It offers structure, which is actually a form of relief.
P.S. If your house is messy, dim the lights.

Sol Wisdom
Friendship isn’t about perfect words. It’s about showing up before you feel ready. These messages aren’t clever. They’re just honest, a little vulnerable, and kind. Steal them, tweak them to make them more your own—but don’t overthink them! Just hit send.
Try one today before your brain talks you out of it. (And for when your friend writes back within 30 seconds, here’s an early “You’re welcome 😃.”)
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