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Have you observed how some people seem to own their lives? They're not necessarily wiser, richer, or luckier than everyone else. But somehow, they navigate life like they're the main character in their own story while the rest of us feel like we're just . . . reacting to whatever comes our way.

Psychologists call it agency—basically, it’s the belief that you're driving the car of life rather than being a passenger. It's not a fixed trait like your height, but a changeable mindset that influences literally everything: your emotions, your choices, how you show up in relationships, and whether you even try to get the things you want.

People with high agency don't magically have fewer problems. They just approach issues differently. When others see a closed door, high agency people are looking for the window. When others think, "This always happens to me," they're thinking, "Okay, what can I do about this?"

If you wish you could be one of those people, here's some good news: You're not stuck with the mindset you have right now. You can rewire your approach starting today.

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Step 1: Shift to Creator Mode

High agency individuals share one thing in common: They create more than they consume. You don’t need to launch a YouTube channel or hustle until 2 a.m. to cultivate a high agency attitude, though. You just need to switch your action mode from "mindless scrolling" to "making things happen."

Think about it: When you start your day glued to social media, you're just slurping up other people's lives. That's consumption mode. But if you spend even five minutes creating something like a not-so perfect poem or recording a voice memo about your ideas, you're already switching to main character energy.

Give this a shot: Tomorrow morning, before you even check Instagram or TikTok, make or create something. Draw a doodle, write a quick story, or snap a picture of something you love. Notice how starting your day this way shifts your energy.

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Step 2: Find Your Authentic Voice

Many of us talk in ways that ignore our own needs, like saying "I'm fine with anything" when you have a preference, or we rush through discussions without considering others’ feelings. Neither creates relationships that help you weather tough times.

You can create a big change when you understand that your thoughts and emotions aren't "excessive" or "insufficient," they're just right. When you stop trying to change yourself to match what you believe others want to hear, you begin to draw in people who appreciate you for who you are.

Begin with small steps: For example, if someone asks where you’d like to eat, state your actual preference. If you don't agree with something in a group message, respectfully share your view. When you need to decline an offer, try saying, "That doesn't suit me, but how about . . ." You'll see that when you're truthful, people show you more respect, not less.

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Step 3: Build Emotional Resilience

Being emotionally strong doesn't mean you're happy all the time. It means trusting yourself to face any feeling that shows up, whether it's sadness, stress, or those late-night doubts about the direction of your life. It means accepting and liking yourself even when you're still navigating your way.

This begins with small decisions that show self-support, like moving your body to clear your head rather than thinking of it as required exercise. Establish little rituals that ground you, like preparing your coffee in your own special way, or texting your partner a positive message.

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Step 4: Let Your Values Guide You

When you're not sure what to do in a situation, try asking yourself, "What choice would align with who I want to become?" This question cuts through all the noise and gets to what actually matters.

Values aren't just random advice from a self-help guide. They are what give you energy when you stick to them and leave you worn out when you don't. If creativity matters to you, you likely feel most alive while creating. If connection is important, you might feel your best when you engage with others. If justice guides you, you could feel the most empowered when speaking out for what you believe in.

The Ripple Effect: Why This Matters Beyond You

Here’s the amazing thing: When you embrace a creator mindset, live by your values, and speak your true voice, you don’t just improve your own life, you create space for others to do the same. Your courage to be authentic makes it safer for others to drop their masks.

You don't need to be 100% confident to start. You just have to be willing to take small steps in the direction of who you want to become. Confidence comes from doing, not from feeling ready first.

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