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If you scroll through social media or read the comments on Reddit threads today, you’d think everyone is walking around with trauma.
Nowadays, the word trauma is used to describe every bad experience, such as a date ghosting us or a boss being critical
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It’s actually surprising to see that we’re using heavy clinical terms to describe normal life events.
But even if it isn't trauma, why do small things hurt so much right now?
To understand better, think of your brain’s emotional center (the Hippocampus) like skin.
When your brain is healthy, that skin is thick and tough. So even if you get a rude email, it shouldn’t bother you a lot.
But chronic stress, burnout, and anxiety act like UV rays that burn the skin.
The scientific name that scientists use for it is “Atrophy” (basically, a decline in brain function). You can call it a brain sunburn.
When you have a sunburn, even a soft and gentle hug can feel like a slap. A warm shower feels like boiling water. The world didn't get more dangerous but your skin just got thinner.
So, when your date doesn’t text back immediately, it doesn't mean you have “abandonment trauma” and you’re a victim, but it’s just your tolerance levels are no longer the same. They have been reduced due to constant stress and burnout.
You don't need to “heal your inner child” to fix a sunburn. You just need to let the skin thicken back up. Here are three simple ways to do that:
1) Art Therapy: When your brain is overstimulated, research has shown it’s often best to sit and meditate, but that doesn't work for everyone. When you’re so used to activity, that silence actually feels scary. If you find you cannot meditate, try Art Therapy.
When you’re mixing paints, sketching, or molding clay, you enter a flow state. This forces your brain to close all the open tabs of worry and focus on just one thing. It calms you down without forcing you to sit in silence and gives your brain a chance to cool down.
2) Move and Think: When we feel overwhelmed, our instinct, surprisingly, is to doomscroll more. It’s counterintuitive but we voluntarily consume more stress when we are already stressed. Walking or simply exercising helps but what helps more is to indulge in some cognitive activity like thinking while exercising.
Don't just go for a walk to "clear your head." Go for a walk and fill your head. Maybe listen to a podcast that teaches you a new language, or try to do mental math while you walk.
3) Layered Journaling: When your brain is shrinking, it struggles to organize thoughts and memories. This also can result in rumination, which can feel even more exhausting.
When it comes to processing your feelings, journaling can be very helpful. Here’s how to level-up yours in just a few minutes:
- Start with facts (2 mins): Write what happened, like basic facts. “My boss said X. I said Y.” Don’t mention any feelings yet. This activates the logical prefrontal cortex, which governs rational thought and helps you step back from the immediate emotional sting.
- Dive into feelings (5 mins): Now, pour out your emotions. Be honest and non-judgemental. “I felt small. I felt angry.” This validates the amygdala, the area of the brain that processes raw emotions and acts as your internal alarm system.
- Add a growth layer (3 mins): This is the rebuilding step. Write one thing you learned or how you survived it. This engages your brain's meaning-making systems by prompting reflection, filing the memory away in the archive folder instead of leaving it open to replay.
The next time you feel like the world is attacking you, take a brief pause.
Don't rush to diagnose yourself with “trauma.” Don't think you are broken.
Remind yourself: “I’m not broken. I’m just sunburned.”
It is okay to feel fragile. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it means your protective layer has worn thin. And just like skin, your brain also wants to heal quickly.
So step away from the online debates, put down your phone, pick up a paintbrush, take a “thinking walk,” or write how you’re feeling.
If you stay consistent, that skin will thicken again. And one day, you’ll notice that a rude email is just an email, and your boss's critical feedback is just feedback—not a disaster that will leave a lasting scar.
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