Break a Rule You Didn’t Know You Follow

We all have invisible rules we obey without questioning, such as “I don’t wear bright colors,” “I never speak up in meetings,” or “I always text back right away.” Pick one small, random rule you’ve never challenged and break it on purpose. Notice what happens inside you—do you feel free, anxious, guilty? That feeling of discomfort is a goldmine. It shows you where you’ve been blindly following a script someone else (or society) wrote for you. Keep a mental note of what rule-breaking reveals about your fears, desires, or values. It’s like hacking your own programming.

Ask Strangers to Tell How They See You

This one’s bold, but hear us out. Ask three people who don’t know you well—a coworker you barely talk to, a barista you see weekly, or even an acquaintance—to describe you in three words. Tell them to be brutally honest and promise you won’t get mad (and don’t). Their answers will likely shock you, not because they’re wrong, but because they see parts of you that you’re blind to. They can see a “drone” view, like how you show up in the office or do a certain activity. Take in their words and note how it may differ from how you’d describe yourself. The gaps between their perception and yours reveal what you’re projecting (or hiding) without realizing it. This isn’t about changing to please others—it’s about seeing the “you” that exists outside your head.

Glance at Your Past Self

Go back into your mind to something you were obsessed with three years ago—an old partner, a job, a fitness routine, or that vision board you thought would change your life. Now, glance at that version of you at that time. Why did you care so much about certain things at that time? What were you chasing, and what did you ignore to chase it? Write it out like a script or talk about it out loud. This forces you to confront how much of your current self is just a reaction to—or rebellion against—your past. You’ll start spotting the threads that connect your choices and see where you’re still stuck on outdated scripts.