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Last Saturday, I sat down with my friend Emmy for a cup of coffee. We were having a good chat, but instead of sticking to the usual conversation topics—life and work—I asked her an imaginary but slightly uncomfortable question: “If someone took away your job, what would still interest you?” She couldn't come up with anything.

Emmy isn’t the only one struggling with this question. Many of us feel lost about what really interests us. There are countless reasons for this, such as increased screen time and algorithms shaping our everyday choices.

To add fuel to the fire, many of us develop borrowed tastes. For example, you might think you love minimalist interior design, or baking sourdough, or high-intensity workouts—but often, many of us are just mirroring what we’ve been consuming.

If you feel lost, whether you’re 22 or 52, it’s normal. You’re just overwhelmed by constant stimulation. Interests are fluid, and many of us are still figuring ours out.

Finding your interests requires taking small, honest steps away from the noise.

Here are three ways to help you find your way back to what genuinely interests you:

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1) Start with Subtraction: What Don’t You Like?

If you can’t find what you like about your job (or anything else, for that matter), first try figuring out what you don’t like about it—fortunately, that's easier. Start by making a list of the things you hate like team sports, loud concerts, small talk, and you’ll automatically narrow the path toward what you do like.

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2) You Deserve a Date With Yourself

To find what actually holds your attention, you’ll need some time with yourself. And that doesn’t mean being alone in a room with your phone and laptop. (Most of us are “alone” that way—today, loneliness often equals isolation + stimulation.)

I mean actual solitude.
(Isolation + Silence.)

This means sitting down with yourself—without podcasts, without emails—for a specific block of time. It’s a date with your own mind. When you remove constant digital stimulation, you will initially feel bored. Good. That boredom is a signal, not a problem.

On the other side of that boredom is a feeling of emptiness where your brain, starved of entertainment, will finally start to surface its own curiosities and what it actually wants to do.

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3) Ditch the “Social Signaling” Trap

We’re social creatures, which means we are naturally prone to mimicry. In professional and social settings, we often adopt “mimetic desires”—we want things because our friends want them.

In these moments, the “politically correct” or status-driven choices show up. We claim to care about certain hobbies, books, or career paths because they signal intelligence or success. We say we’re into golf, coding, or modernist literature not because we love them, but because they sound impressive.

You need to catch yourself at the moment of explanation. When you are telling people what you are “into,” ask yourself: Am I saying this because I enjoy it, or because I enjoy how it makes me seem?

Who is there to lie to when we are on our own? If you strip away the audience, the “shoulds,” and the need to impress your peers, does the interest still exist? If the answer is no, let it go. It was never really yours to begin with.

So take one small step away from the noise today. What you’re curious about might already be waiting for you in the quiet.

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