Welcome to Wisdom & Sol! If you haven’t subscribed, join our community of 81,611 intelligent, curious folks who want to boost their emotional well-being by subscribing here.
You already know anxiety sucks. What you might not know is that it's been quietly reshaping parts of your life.
It’s led you to become the person you are today, it’s made you blind to opportunities, and it’s inspired the weird habits you think are "just who you are."
Ready to see how deep anxiety’s influence actually goes? Keep reading.
The Life You're Not Living (But Don't Even Notice)
Anxiety doesn't just make you feel bad. It literally changes your reality, removing options before they even reach you.
How many of the scenarios below do you consider true for you?
|
The Anxiety Tax You've Been Paying
Anxiety doesn’t have to be limited to one panic attack or one sleepless night; it's the constant background processing that is draining you before your day even gets started.
There are three hidden costs:
1. The Pre-Game Tax
This is the energy you burn anticipating problems that haven't happened yet. Every morning, before your feet hit the floor, your brain runs a program:
Threat scan → Scenario building → Contingency development → Rehearsal of responses
You're not planning your day, you're pre-living every possible disaster. You've probably fought 14 imaginary battles by 9 AM. No wonder you’re tired!
2. The Surveillance Tax
When you’re filled with anxiety, your body becomes a 24/7 monitoring station. It’s assessing your heart rate and breathing, tracking strange sensations, and sensing your energy levels. This isn't conscious, just automatic background processing. It's like having 30 open tabs in your browser, all sucking up battery power and all completely forgotten.
3. The Exit Strategy Tax
You may have become a professional escape artist without even realizing it. Every situation requires an assessment, such as:
- Where's the bathroom?
- How can I leave early?
- What's my excuse?
- Who will judge me if I bail?
You're never fully present because part of your brain is still keeping the escape routes open.
The compound effect
You’re being hit with those three taxes simultaneously, all day, every day. You’re not just tired because of anxiety; you’re tired from running an anxiety-prevention operation that never closes.
How Anxiety Low Key Kills a Relationship
Anxiety doesn't destroy relationships in a single, climactic moment. It does it through tiny cuts that seem reasonable in isolation but are devastating in aggregate. Here’s how it often plays out:
Phase 1: The Ask
You require more reassurance. Special accommodations. Patience with your cancellations. Understanding about your limitations. These seem small. Reasonable. Temporary.
Phase 2: The Accommodation
People adapt to your behavior. They stop inviting you because the events trigger things in you. They offer reassurance as a matter of course. They plan around your anxiety. They become co-managers of your condition.
Phase 3: The Resentment
The accommodation becomes an expectation. The patience wears thin. People close to you feel like caretakers, not equals. You feel guilty. They feel trapped. Everyone pretends it’s fine.
Phase 4: The Distance
Loved ones stop sharing problems with you because they believe you have enough problems of your own. They stop inviting you to do things since you will probably cancel anyway. They stop seeing you as capable because you require so much support. They feel your relationship is about managing anxiety rather than enjoying a real connection.
The Relationship Casualties
1. Equality dies first. You become the one who needs help, not the one who gives it.
2. Spontaneity dies next. Everything needs planning, checking, and preparation.
3. Joy dies last. When life is all management and accommodation, where is the fun?
You don’t lose friends to anxiety. You lose them to the scaffolding that anxiety forced you to build.
The Bottom Line Nobody Will Tell You
When anxiety runs your life, you have two choices:
Option 1: Continue to manage, accommodate, and shrink. Your world will get smaller but “safer.” Your life will get quieter but “calmer.” You’ll become a pro at living in the margins that anxiety leaves you.
Option 2: See the real cost. Think past the panic, and consider what it’s making you lose. Go beyond the symptoms and spot the relationship erosion.
Once you see the evidence, you’ll stop negotiating with anxiety.
You’ll stop asking, “How can I manage this?” And you start asking, “Why am I letting this manage me?”
You’ll stop accommodating and start reclaiming.
Because anxiety isn’t actually that powerful. It just convinced you that avoiding it was more important than living your life.
The question is: How much more are you willing to pay?
P.S. If this felt uncomfortable to read, good. Comfort is what got you here, discomfort is what gets you out. The anxiety you feel facing the truth is nothing compared to the life you're losing avoiding it.
Help us make this newsletter even better for you! Was this issue useful? What would you be excited to read about next? Reply to this email with your thoughts and suggestions. We read every response!
Want More: Tools to Manage Anxiety
This Edition’s Sponsor: The Marketing Millennials
The best marketing ideas come from marketers who live it. That’s what The Marketing Millennials delivers: real insights, fresh takes, and no fluff. Written by Daniel Murray, a marketer who knows what works, this newsletter cuts through the noise so you can stop guessing and start winning. Subscribe and level up your marketing game.
Along the Same Lines…
We love you,
Mona & The Sol TV Team ❤️
Lastly, some housekeeping…
If you can't find the newsletter, check your spam folder. If it’s there, mark it as “not spam.”
Whitelist our email. Add our email address [email protected] to your contacts list or your Primary inbox in Gmail.