The trap:

You don’t start important work, have hard conversations, or try scary things until you feel inspired or confident.

Do this instead:

Act while you’re still unsure. Confidence comes from taking action—it is not required to begin something new.

The trap:

You assume feeling anxious means something is wrong with you.

Think this instead:

Treat anxiety as information, not as your identity. Rather than labeling yourself as an anxious person, view your anxiety as a response to something—and ask yourself what that is. Remember, it's normal to feel anxious about something you value or that is important to you.

The trap:

You try to stay away from situations or people that cause you discomfort instead of learning to tolerate them.

Do this instead:

Build your capacity for discomfort slowly. Avoidance shrinks your world, so your goal is to find little ways to make it feel bigger and more expansive.

The trap:

You believe the key to getting un-stuck comes from having more insight, more information, conducting more analysis, or doing more processing.

Do this instead:

Act your way into a new way of thinking. Your mindset is not a prerequisite for action, but a result of it.

The trap:

You need validation from partners, therapists, coaches, mentors, and your “inner child” before taking action.

Do this instead:

Use other people’s advice as input, but not as permission. You still are in charge of the decision.

The trap:

You fall back on coping mechanisms like emotional eating or binge watching Netflix and leave your actual problem untouched.

Do this instead:

Name what is causing your stress and change it, even in a small way. For example, if your schedule is the problem, adjust it. If a task is overwhelming, break it down or ask for help. Fix the source when possible.

The trap:

You let your feelings (and other people’s feelings) dictate your major life decisions.

Do this instead:

Let emotions inform you, but do not let them drive your choices. Use your values and judgment instead.

The trap:

You silence yourself to please others or ensure they feel comfortable.

Do this instead:

Be kind without self-erasure. And remind yourself that your decisions may lead to someone else’s discomfort, but that discomfort is not the same as harm..

The trap:

You organize your entire sense of self around your anxiety, ADHD, trauma, or your personality type.

Do this instead:

Use labels as tools, not as definitions. You are larger than any framework or self-diagnosis.

The trap:

You assume healthy people never feel any negative emotions, such as shame, guilt, anger, insecurity, fear, or doubt.

Do this instead:

Expect discomfort. Growth often feels awkward or sometimes painful before it feels right.

The trap:

You explain everything happening in your life through childhood or trauma and ignore your current habits or life direction.

Do this instead:

Understand the past. Work in the present. Change happens forward.

The trap:

You avoid being honest to prevent conflict, rejection, or disappointment.

Do this instead:

Practice clear, assertive, respectful truth. Most stuckness begins with your silence.