🌗 The Two Faces of Feeling
🫂 Sol Bites: 3 Steps to Deal With Resentment and Intimacy Issues
💡 Words of Wisdom
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Did you know that your relationship to your emotions defines you far more than the feelings themselves?
And that relationship reveals itself in two obvious ways: resentment and intimacy.
Here’s how:
Resentment: All resentment is self-resentment. When we resent someone else, we’re usually avoiding a more uncomfortable truth. For example, you resent yourself for not being more assertive, for not speaking up, for not setting a boundary when you had the chance. The other person is just an easy target.
Intimacy: Your capacity to feel connected is directly proportional to your willingness to share—especially the things that are hard to say out loud. There is no closeness without vulnerability. You cannot be deeply known while staying fully protected.
So what are you supposed to do with this information?
Sol Bites: 3 Steps to Deal With Resentment and Intimacy Issues
A few usual suspects typically fuel this issue.
1) When a strong emotion hits, don’t just acknowledge the feeling, pause and watch your response to it. What do you reach for? Do you do something to suppress it, do you try to numb it, or do you spiral? Deciphering the pattern is critical work.
2) Trace resentment back to yourself. When you catch yourself resenting someone, ask: Where did I abandon myself in this situation? Usually the answer is a boundary you didn’t set or a need you never named.
3) Share one uncomfortable thing. Intimacy gets built in small, slightly scary disclosures. Pick one friend or loved one this week and tell them something true that you’d normally keep to yourself.
None of this is comfortable. That’s kind of the point. The discomfort is where your growth lives.
Tame Any Bad Mood in 3 Steps
The cup you keep drinking—and how to quietly set it down
Words of Wisdom
Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.
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