1) Make The Habit Pleasant On Purpose

You may have a favorite candle to light when you journal, but it doesn’t make you a better writer. The same goes for wrapping yourself in a favorite blanket when you’re on the couch. You do those things because they change how the moment feels. Adding a little pleasantness or personal touch to your habits not only makes you enjoy your habits more, but it also increases the likelihood of you being better at that habit.  

Quick tip: Take something you genuinely enjoy, and use it exclusively with a habit you keep avoiding. For example, if you have a hard time being active, choose a podcast you love, and only play it when going on a walk. Or make yourself good coffee only if you’re going to drink while working at your desk. Enjoyment is the mechanism, not the reward.

2) Change The Structure, Not Just Your Intentions

Murakami quit smoking because he realized his life had changed shape. He sold the jazz club he and his wife had been running, moved out of the city, and his late nights turned into early mornings. Sitting at a desk all day left him restless, so he took up running. Soon, smoking just didn’t make sense for the runner he was becoming.

There was no willpower anywhere in that shift. He just ended up living a life where there was no longer a place for cigarettes.

Research backs up that phenomenon. In 2005, Wendy Wood and her colleagues followed students who transferred to a new university, and discovered that their old habits survived the move only when something about the surroundings remained the same.

Which makes sense, because a habit starts on a cue, not on a decision. Change the surroundings, and the cue never arrives. The behavior goes back to being something you’re choosing again.

Quick tip: Change one physical thing about the place where a habit happens. If you think you check your phone too frequently before you go to sleep, a simple way to break the habit would be to charge it in another room when you go to bed. 

3) Replace The Job The Old Habit Was Doing

Every bad habit is doing something for you—even an expensive one. Scrolling helps you avoid a difficult thought. A drink gives you a way to mark the end of a demanding day. Anger delivers a quick sense of power. Procrastination protects you from discovering the limits of your best effort.

But a walk can also draw the line at the end of the workday. Calling someone can answer loneliness. A shower and a real meal can replace the ritual weight of pouring a drink. 

Murakami’s running worked to break his smoking habit because it took over his identity, his health, and the shape of his working day all at once, which left the cigarettes with nothing useful to do.

Quick tip: Ask what a habit gives you in the 60 seconds right after you do it. Relief? A boundary? Company? Distraction? Then choose a replacement that delivers something similar.

4) Identify Exactly What Went Wrong

Before bed, take a minute or two to reflect on your conversations and actions from your whole day. Take stock of how things went. Don’t be angry. Just notice. Do this quietly and thoroughly.

How you do this is important, because sometimes we create notes that are way too vague. “You procrastinated yesterday.” “You lack discipline.” “You wasted your day.” “You acted poorly.” None of these statements tell you what happened. They simply turn one bad moment into some type of permanent label regarding your identity.

The difference comes down to details.

“I was lazy” doesn’t tell you why you didn’t accomplish what you needed to. But if you acknowledge, “As soon as the paragraph became difficult to write, I checked my phone,” you’re identifying exactly why you made the escape.

Telling yourself, “I eat poorly” has no direction for what to do differently. However, admitting, “When I come home at 8 PM hungry and unprepared, I immediately order whatever I see,” points out why you make that decision and what to solve.

Likewise, “I have a horrible temper” sounds like being permanently mad. But “I reply before the other person completes their thoughts” shows you where you can intervene.

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