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In our recent newsletters, we talked about why asking “why” holds us back, and revealed that “what” and “how” questions pave the way forward. Today, we’ll focus on three questions to ask yourself each day to set a purposeful tone for your day.
Your New Morning Ritual
Have you ever noticed how many articles revolve around questions? You can find lists of things like deep questions for yourself, questions for your relationship, questions for getting to know someone.
The one thing they all have in common is that they are all about discovering —something about your past, about another person, or about yourself.
The questions I'm going to give you are different. They're about deciding something, specifically, who you're going to be that day—and doing it before the day starts throwing things at you.
After all, something probably is going to go wrong, and you’ll have zero control over it.
If you don’t decide in advance how you want to show up for all of that, you're just going to react. Get frustrated. Snap at people. Feel guilty later. Repeat the pattern.
But if you've already decided who you’re going to be, things will be different. Sure, annoying things will still happen, but you'll have an anchor point to come back to.
The Three Questions
Don't worry—you don't need to put aside extra time or wake up early to think about these. You also don't need to write down your answers in a journal.
1. Your Intention Question: What quality do I want to practice today?
Which quality should you choose?
Maybe you want to practice patience because your child has been asking "why" about everything for three days straight and you're at your limit.
And notice I said practice, not "be amazing at" or "master."
You're just trying on a quality for the day. Maybe you nail it, maybe you forget about it by 10 AM. Either are fine.
Here's an interesting thing you may notice: Once you name the quality in the morning, you’ll start noticing it throughout the day.
You might be stuck in traffic and you feel yourself getting annoyed and then you remember—oh yeah, I'm practicing patience today. Sometimes you'll still get annoyed, but sometimes you won't. Eventually, you will get less annoyed and become a little more patient.
2. Your Alignment Question: What deserves to matter to me today?
This one is my favorite because it's basically permission to care less about most things.
So many things will want your attention, but if you let all of it matter, you'll be fried by lunchtime.
This question is asking: Out of all the things competing for my emotional energy today, what actually deserves it, and what aligns with who I want to be?
Maybe what deserves to matter today is the time you’re going to spend with your teen who is feeling confused about life. That's where you’re going to direct your emotional energy.
When you decide that in the morning, something will shift. Other things—like your coworker being in a terrible mood or annoying social media posts—won’t overwhelm you. If something doesn’t make your morning list, you don't have to carry it around all day.
You’ll stop bleeding energy all over the place.
3. Your Wonder Question: What small moment could surprise me with joy today?
As humans, we’re wired for survival. We assume that negative things happen, so we unconsciously expect them. But the same isn’t true with positive things. You have to make it a goal to stay open to the possibility that something—even something tiny—might be good today.
Maybe it's finding a good parking spot. Maybe it's getting a text from someone you haven't heard from in forever.
The word "surprise" in the question is important. You're not making a happiness checklist. You're not manufacturing gratitude. You're just paying attention to what's really happening instead of only noticing the problems.
Your brain finds what you tell it to look for. If you're hunting for everything that's wrong, you'll find plenty. If you're looking for small surprises of joy, you'll find those too—even on hard days.
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Want More: Tools to Ask Better Questions
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